Cancer Fabulous Diaries: A Glimmer of Light
Date: April 20
I’m feeling: Hopeful
Today I switched nurse navigators. My last nurse navigator was causing me too much stress by being non-existent: not calling me, not checking if I was ok, not letting me know what my next step was. My new one is much more helpful and she made sure that I didn’t have to worry about surgical pre-admission procedures by calling and making sure they were in place. The surgeon’s secretary has also been really nice, setting up the necessary appointments, including an additional mammogram, a chest X-ray, bone scan, etc.
I talked to my surgeon again, asked her more questions and requested a different anaesthetist for my upcoming surgery.
My surgeon gave me the phone number of one of her patients who is the same age as me who is a breast cancer survivor. She is in her last stages of reconstructive surgery, and, like me, she loves to travel. It was so nice to talk to someone my age who has gone through what i’m going through.
My brother set up the dresser for me in my new room. Finding out that I had breast cancer one week after returning from an overseas job had left me homeless, living out of suitcases and sleeping in my sister’s bed. My brother and sister-in-law suggested that we all move into a three-bedroom apartment. I guess I can finally put my stuff away and give up hopes of flying away from all my troubles.
Thankfully, things are finally coming together after a whole month, and it is such a huge relief. I know the surgery on Thursday won’t be fun, but having people doing their jobs (aka healthcare workers) takes a huge load off my shoulders. Though i’m still struggling with whether i’m going to have a mastectomy or a lumpectomy, things are looking up.
I wonder if my boyfriend will stick around through all this. I know he’s the kind of guy who likes to take it day by day. While i’m not a girl who likes to jump into things, at a time like this, I really need someone to be there. Even if he can’t be here physically, I really need him emotionally.
I don’t know how having one breast would make him react, one of the reasons why I don’t want to have the mastectomy.
It’s such a hard thing when you love someone and you wonder if that person who has told you that he loves you so much will be there when all is said and done. It’s not something I can think about right now. If that’s the case, I hope he lies until i’m better and able to handle another loss. – Sylvia Soo