Cancer Fabulous Diaries: Mrs. Grumpy
Date: May 7
I’m feeling: Grumpy.
- The fertility doctor told me that the 30% chance of me becoming pregnant if I saved my eggs was now only 5% because the procedure they thought the province was going to get approved didn’t get approved.
- This would leave me spending $4,000 on a 5% success rate of slow-freezing eggs. That’s if the 50% cost-reduction request sent to Capital Health gets approved. The other option is the drug that pushes me into menopause.
- That’s if the 50% cost-reduction request sent to Capital Health gets approved. The other option is the drug that pushes me into menopause.
- Ladies who don’t take the drug have an 11% chance of ovary re-function a year after chemo versus 66% for those who do take the drug.
Days, people and facts are starting to blur into one blob and it’s hard for me to remember things so I try to write everything down. I guess the real reason for my frustration and grumpiness is that the infection really and truly knocked me to the floor emotionally—and my non-existent boyfriend doesn’t help.
He broke up with me. Yes, that’s right. Right before chemo.
I try to push it out of my mind. I feel that he’s scared of the whole cancer thing. I don’t understand how he could say I was the best thing that ever happened to him and he loves me so much…and then watch me walk out of his life without a fight. He says he’s not happy with his life, so he can’t make me happy. I thought he’d be there for me. Having to deal with this is hard, but I guess it’s better than having to deal with it during cancer treatments.
I’m still the same girl—the same girl who he shared long walks, long talks and good laughs with. I’m still the same girl, cancer or no cancer. It’s frustrating watching the world race by as I stand alone amongst the flurry of colour. – By Sylvia Soo