Hi, I’m Nicole Stat #MakeMeCount
6 MINS to read
Could you give us a general picture of who Nicole is? Was breast cancer something in your family or in your community growing up?
I have three siblings, and I mostly grew up with Yudith, so she and I are the closest among all the siblings. Both my parents were newcomers to Canada which means that culturally, my family isn’t really one to talk about personal issues, or even familial issues such as health history. Despite this, I did know that my dad’s sister, who’s now passed away, had breast cancer, and one of her daughters, my cousin, has also had a breast cancer diagnosis. On my mom’s side there has been cancer as well, but not breast cancer specifically.
What was going on in your life at the time of your diagnosis? How did it come about that you were diagnosed?
I always say, no one ever thinks it’ll happen to them, and you hope it’s no one you love.
My breast cancer diagnosis came at a time of change and personal growth. I was 33 and had just moved out on my own. I was in the middle of just starting a new life in downtown Toronto, and about a month and a half in, while I was working on a project, I started massaging my armpits as a way to ease some anxiety I was feeling. While doing this fiddling, I felt a lump in my left armpit. Immediately I picked up the phone and called a close cousin of mine that lives in the UK. She is a midwife and at the time, that was the closest thing to the medical professional I could access in that moment and I just wanted someone’s take on what I had found. I told her that I found a bump and I thought it might be cancer. She told me not to worry but that I should make an appointment to see my family doctor to get it checked out.
We were entering the holiday season and I would be back home to see my family so I made an appointment to see my doctor who is in the area. That appointment turned into an ultrasound, and two weeks after that I went to see her again and she sent me for a biopsy of the lump. By this time, it was the end of January and I was set to jet off for a month-long working vacation to Mexico. My physician told me that if the biopsy sample looked suspicious, it would be sent off as a rush request and I would hear results pretty quickly. On the eleventh day – two days before I was meant to get on a plane and also my dad’s birthday – I got the call that she wanted me to come into her office. She knew about my vacation, so I knew the news wouldn’t be good.
I had so many plans for myself, my time, and my year – having a new space to make mine, to decorate, and a month-long trip to Mexico with my friend. It had been a really tough year prior. So, I was really looking forward to 2023 being the year that I recharged.
How would you describe your experience navigating breast cancer?
Exhausting. Uncertain. Slow and fast at the same time. Your life is just kind of put on hold. Your life just becomes cancer. It’s all you’re doing every day and you develop this internal monologue, “I am cancer. Cancer is me. I’m navigating something or this thing that I’m doing is because of my diagnosis. I’m getting up and putting on my shoes to go to an appointment because of the diagnosis. I can’t eat this because of the diagnosis.” Everything revolves around it, and when you hear about the treatment plan ahead of you, it seems like it is an eternity away and that way it is slow.
Then all of a sudden, you end up at present day. I’m like, wow, I could not see this finish line at that time.
What do you feel is different in this experience for you as a Black woman?
In so many ways it’s different for me. When I first got the diagnosis, I was doing research about what breast cancer is, how it shows up and what it looks like. It was difficult to find information that reflected my identity and therefore what would be my experience. The reading I was doing would say Black women are most impacted by this type of cancer. However, when I would research it, that’s not what I saw in the content and the people reflected in it which didn’t make sense to me.
I remember the appointment when I went to go try on wigs and there weren’t wigs that had the texture that was appropriate for somebody that looked like me. In response, staff told me they used to carry curlier hair wigs, but that they were “difficult to maintain” and as a result they didn’t have them.
When I was receiving chemotherapy, I would sometimes take the long way to my chair so I could take a look around the room and I would notice there’s no A) young people and B) Black women. I don’t see Black people, not even Black women, just Black people. I’d ask myself where, where are we? Because I know it’s happening to us.
I think any Person of Colour probably has this fear that you might not receive the same care as your white counterparts. You really don’t know: is this baseline, or is this different than what another person would get?
These are just some of the things that come to mind but I’m also so privileged. I speak English, I understand English. But for other people who are newcomers to this country or who don’t have a family to support them, the healthcare experience can be very different. So, in some ways my English is an equalizer that is working in my favour. I’m so privileged that I live within walking distance of the hospital. Yes, I was sick and tired and it took me 35 minutes each way, but I had one of the best cancer centers in the world so close to me.
What would you like to see change in terms of research and data?
We’re long overdue for more inclusive data that reflects the country that we live in and the people who live here. Health care is for everybody. Everyone should have equal access to it and it should reflect their needs, and the needs are different for different populations. I want to see accessible health care for everyone.
— Nicole