Hi, I’m Spencer Stat #MakeMeCount

Who is Spencer for someone who’s never met you before? How would you describe yourself? Was cancer something you were aware of as a kid?

 

I work as a security guard, and I’m pretty much the exact opposite of my job. I’m very intuitive about things in general, and I find I notice things about people and situations that others may not. Lately, since the cancer, I’ve been a lot happier than I’ve ever been in my life. When I was a teenager, I had a lot of depression and anxiety and things like that, and I’ve been treated for that for years. And quite honestly, everybody has anxiety, everybody has stress. It’s just how you deal with it. So, in my personal case, since the cancer, I’ve noticed that I’m a lot happier. I feel that I embrace joy so much more than I used to and, and I try to choose that whenever possible.

 

In terms of being a kid… I grew up in a home that I was the “only girl” with two brothers. When I was growing up, you know, my parents wanted the white wedding. They wanted their little pigtailed, green eyed, XYZ girl, and that was definitely not me. I always felt a little bit, or a lot a bit, like I was disappointing my parents. But I look back at things and it’s quite evident that I’ve always been a boy in many ways. As a kid, I always felt like I was disappointing my parents by not being frilly or whatever you want to call it. But, after they passed away, I realized, you know what, I’m not being true to myself. I came out as a lesbian to my parents and I lived as one for about 20 years openly. I married my wife as a woman, and then about eight or nine years ago, I sat myself down one day and said, look, you’re not who you think you are. There’s something else going on here. And then when I came out as trans, I was like, yeah, this feels a lot better. I went through this kind of identity crisis for a long time before that, and it was really difficult. Because think about it, you’re living in a body that you shouldn’t be, really. You know, nature made a mistake somehow. And so, in that regard, it really affected me.

 

My maternal grandmother passed away from lung cancer, so I did have some experience with that when I was a bit younger. She had lung cancer for over 2 years and didn’t tell anybody. Dealing with my grandmother’s passing, I did a bit of research on breast cancer and stuff like that as an adult. And even with the dysphoria I felt doing it, I made a point to check my chest for lumps, and keep up with my annual physicals. I was 26 when she passed away. So, I’ve lived pretty much half my life without her at this point and she was my biggest fan. She was always like, “You can be anything you want to be, you can do anything you want to do” so I always kept that kind of attitude with me and in spite of the fact that people were looking at me bit differently because I was different. I grew up in Thunder Bay, which was a really closed-minded community at the time. Things may be changing now, but as a young adult, I had a hard time being true to myself while living there.

 

Can we talk a bit more about your experience navigating that breast cancer diagnosis? What was it like for you to navigate the healthcare system and some of the gaps you may have noticed?

 

When I found out I had cancer in 2021, it was interesting, because I had already been put on the list in Ontario for a gender reassignment top surgery. Long story short, I developed breast cancer, and it was almost like the universe had provided this for me, like it was a gift because I ended up getting top surgery by having to get a mastectomy basically, before the top surgeon was available to actually do it for me, because, as we know,cancer is life threatening. I had to convince the surgical oncologist to take both sides at once, because in their eyes, I’m a female. And they said, “Well, you know what we can only do one side because the other side has no imminent threat of cancer.” I said, “Look, you’re going to put me through two surgeries for this, and then I’m dealing with chemo and possibly radiation, etc. It doesn’t make sense.” So he agreed. I advocated for myself, which was the first time I’d really ever done that in this sort of setting. It was very affirming.

 

I felt a lot of dysphoria navigating breast cancer, which is obviously something that not everybody understands. In that regard, it was difficult to look at different questionnaires and things like that for any of the visits that I had. They asked things like, “When was your last menstrual cycle?” Well, not every woman has a menstrual cycle and not every person who’s dealing with breast cancer has a menstrual cycle, things like that. Gender is a spectrum and I think that being on that spectrum, I’m very feminine in certain ways and very masculine in other ways. I found that there’s a lot of pinkwashing. Some of the gowns are pink and everything in the room is kind of girly, and it really feels like they want to cater to cisgender women or feminine-identified people. And that’s great, but for a guy coming into that, especially with my background of having dysphoria my whole life and not having words for it until I was like 40 or 45 and realizing all that later in life, it was really hard.

 

Another example is that not all men have a prostate, because some men are biologically female, and others have just had it removed and so it’s kind of like going to a men’s clinic and them saying, “When was the last time you had your prostate checked?” Well, I can’t say because I don’t have one. So, it’s similar to when people go to a women’s clinic for breast cancer or hysterectomy. Imagine sitting in a room full of women in the waiting room and getting called into this women’s clinic and everyone looks at you as you pass by. You already feel uncomfortable because you’re dealing with organs you don’t want to have. And then everyone around you is kind of just looking at you. Thank goodness we all look at our phones so much now, that most people don’t even notice.

 

How does it make you feel to know that we don’t have comprehensive data about cancer and sexual and gender diverse groups?

 

I honestly feel kind of discouraged knowing that we don’t collect data on the trans community and others. There are several communities that are underserved and I know it’s not just us, it kind of makes you feel unvalued as a human being. It’s like we’re less than or not important enough to think about. We’re human beings too. It’s really disheartening. It sickens me to know that there are people out there who think that I shouldn’t exist. If transgender individuals, people with disabilities, and other marginalized groups, if those people were treated better and were counted, it would transform what we know about them, and how to help them. If we start collecting this data, we’ll be able to better understand the needs of these underserved groups and what cancers are affecting them more, and, you know, stuff like that. Things we don’t know now. You know, there are trans folks out there who have a prostate and those folks have a possibility of getting prostate cancer, and they need to be counted somehow. And it’s the same with breast cancer. I mean, everybody in the world has breast tissue, so everybody in the world can get breast cancer. That’s just a given. And most people don’t think that way, because they only think of cis-women when they hear the words “breast cancer.”

 

Collecting data on trans individuals, in particular, matters. We deserve to be counted. Just knowing that we’re part of the story is a good thing… Knowing that somebody somewhere has looked at my chart and said, “Wow, this person’s transgender. How can we fix their cancer? How can we do better?” My point is, if people would just understand a bit better what a trans person has to go through to get any kind of medical care, it would make such a difference. People want to be heard and want to be seen and helped. That’s what health care is about, is helping people, right? So let’s figure out who needs to be helped and help them. I don’t care what someone’s gender is. Knowing that someone is looking at you and saying, “Hey, you’re important enough for me to address. Your health concerns matter, no matter who you are.” Don’t exclude people just based on a piece of their anatomy, which they have no control over. That’s really not that important. What’s inside really counts. I wish that more people would understand that.

 

I had an aha moment in University: nobody hears you unless you speak up. Nobody hears you unless you say something; so, speak up. So, since then, I’ve never shut up regarding things I am passionate about. I have found my voice, finally, and I plan to use it.

 

I truly hope this campaign is helpful to all the communities we’ve targeted. Even if it’s 10 years from now. If it helps someone like us in the future, then I feel like that is something to strive for.

 

— Spencer