How Microblading Made Me Feel Whole
It’s been a year and a half since my final chemo – an emotional process that can only be described as a warp-speed hurricane that I was in the eye of. With everything that happens through chemo, I knew one of the hardest parts was going to be losing my hair. I thought I had mentally prepared myself but found there was nothing that could have truly prepared me for it. It was something so defining that I didn’t realize how much until I was about it to lose it–all unwillingly. My family and friends who are nearest and dearest to me know that I am not a crier. I cried only a handful of times during my whole cancer experience and losing my hair was one of those times. It was not “just hair” as everyone kept saying as they tried to comfort me.
As the hair fell out and filled my garbage can day after day, I found that I just couldn’t throw it out. That means it would be gone forever and I wasn’t ready for that. Then one day, I called my mom in a panic. The hair I did have left was so matted that it was causing pain. I was torn between the pain of the matted hair and the pain of losing it once and for all. It was time to let it go and shave it all off – I still had my eyelashes and eyebrows after all.
But my eyebrows and eyelashes did not last much longer. I recall when I had three eyelashes left on just one eye, this may sound silly but I held on to them. Finally when all the hair was gone, I felt so exposed and vulnerable. I found myself looking in the mirror and I saw a version of me I didn’t quite recognize. This hairless person wasn’t the playful feminine me that I used to know.
Also, did you know that eyebrows and eyelashes protect our eyes, like tiny little soldiers, from dust, sweat, rain and all other sorts of unwanted visitors in one’s eyeballs? Nasal soldiers – I mean hairs, keep stuff from entering the body through our nose and keep moisture in the air we breathe.
So let me take you back to the summer of 2018. I had lost all the hair including my tiny army of soldiers. There I was…bald, sweating profusely, constantly crying and had a runny nose that was more like a running faucet. I was a hot mess. Even as my body slowly began to heal again and the hair started to grow back (my eyebrows and eyelashes were the last to grow back and never quite the same), I had to summon all of my self-dignity and pride to learn to embrace the new me. This new me that now knows what truly defines me is more than just hair.
There it is again. Just hair. In the midst of trying to find my new normal and the constant hunt for THE perfect brow pencil…along came my fairy brow-mothers. Rethink and B. Beautiful came in – knowing it’s NOT just hair. And it was ok that it’s not just hair. They had the power to help me and other women just like me gain back the ability to furrow our brows when we think about something, raise our brows when we are excited, jump our brows when we see something we like. To some people, microblading is just an esthetic procedure. To people like me, it’s helping me be complete again. Brittni (from B. Beautiful) specializes in the beauty of the face. The service she provided was simply the best and her attention to detail was impeccable. She gave me perfectly natural-looking brows that complimented the shape of my face. She treated me as more than just another client. I left there knowing that I had made a new friend.
Cancer changes people. Oddly enough it’s not all bad. I can’t think of anything that would make me appreciate life and all the small moments that make it up, as much as I do now. Many years ago before cancer, I got my favourite saying tattooed on me – live well, laugh often, love much. The new me would tweak it a bit – live life passionately, laugh until my belly hurts and love unconditionally. Thank you Rethink and B. Beautiful for giving me a piece of the old Jill back! Let’s all raise a brow to them! – Jill D’Souza
B. Beautiful is an official Rethink Cause Marketing Partner and will donate 50% of proceeds during February and October to support Rethink’s mission to empower, educate and advocate for young people concerned about and affected by breast cancer. Brittni will also 10% off to anyone part of the Rethink network. For more info or to book a consultation, visit bbeautifulbeauty.com.