Inside …. A Poem By Wildfire

Reflected in the glass

A shadow on the wall

One I thought I knew

But she’s not me at all

The “me” I’m familiar with

That I’ve grown accustomed to

Has been living a lie

Hasn’t been telling the truth

Deep, deep in those veins

Underneath that skin

Something unpleasant

The “evil” within

It moves when I move

It goes where I go

It’s always been there

How could I not know?

I wish I had seen

That there’d been a sign

This body I’d cared for

It was no longer mine

Do you ever know yourself?

Who you are deep inside?

I wish I had known

Now I wait for the tide

The water comes in

Washes over like a flood

I don’t like what I am

But can’t change what’s in my blood

Shar Schmidt. Health insurance advisor. Diagnosed at 35. IDC, Stage III, Triple Negative, BRCA1. Mom to one little wild child, wife, daughter, sister, friend. Shar has no family history of cancer; she’s the first on both sides of her family to be diagnosed.

Editor’s Note: This piece has been republished with permission from WILDFIRE Magazine, the “GENETICS” issue (Vol 4, No 1, Copyright (c) February 2019 by Wildfire Community LLC). More information available at wildfirecommunity.org

Every month, Rethink will be sharing powerful stories and poetry from WILDFIRE Magazine. Use code RETHINK for 10% off anything in the WILDFIRE Shop.

WILDFIRE Magazine is the only magazine for young women survivors and fighters of breast cancer under 45 years old. Headquartered in Santa Cruz, California, WILDFIRE is a beautiful, story-based bi-monthly magazine published on different themes relevant to young women survivors, from stage 0 to stage IV. Beautiful and ad-free! Visit  wildfirecommunity.org for more info.