Mascara…A Poem From Wildfire
I am forced to see
Just me
The most naked I’ve been
Unable to hide behind my lashes
I see you
I see you in all your beauty
Mascara I miss you
Mascara
I wake each day and I see me
But the image that I see is somehow unrecognizable
But I force the images I see
into make-believe
I pretend every day that I have no scars
That I see no illness
I grab my mascara and apply
The days I feel ugly
The days I don’t see me
I still grabbed my mascara and apply
A woman should never start her day without it
I found beauty in that dark lashes
I found beauty in the way it made my dark circles look
It managed to hide the eyes that wanted to stay closed
But it also painted my cheeks when it moved down my face
It gave me something when everything else was getting taken away
It gave me control when I had none
It gave beauty when I saw none
Waking up to put my eyes on
Mascara where are you
But but lashes
Where are you
Scared and vulnerable I see this image and she is not me
Standing face to face with this stranger
Mascara
Mascara
I am unable to use you
Unable to paint you
How do I wake to my days now
How to I hide
So I stand facing me
Telling myself that I will wake each day a new
And tell the image that I see
That you are beautiful today
You are beautiful every day
And no mascara in this world will change that
So I will wake each day and stare at the image that is unrecognizable
Until one day she winks back and says, hello stranger
it’s been awhile.
Mascara
How I have missed you
Tawny Rachelle. Diagnosed at 39, IDC stage ll ER+ Tawny was in a car accident in which her car was t-boned and totaled. Dealing with the normal aches and pains that followed, she accidentally discovered a lump in her right breast. After a double mastectomy and living breastless she is concentrating on getting back into her career as a hairdresser and make-up artist. She has been enjoying creating since 2001. Her love for hair is not the only creative outlet Tawny has. She enjoys art in all its forms. From paint on canvas to ink on paper she tries to, as she would say, make her soul happy. @itsjustahiccup.
Editor’s Note: This piece has been shared with permission from the author. It will appear in the upcoming WILDFIRE Magazine 2019 “Self-Care” issue (Vol 4, No 2, to be published April 2019 by Wildfire Community LLC). More information available at wildfirecommunity.org
Every month, Rethink will be sharing powerful stories and poetry from WILDFIRE Magazine. Use code RETHINK for 10% off anything in the WILDFIRE Shop.
WILDFIRE Magazine is the only magazine for young women survivors and fighters of breast cancer under 45 years old. Headquartered in Santa Cruz, California, WILDFIRE is a beautiful, story-based bi-monthly magazine published on different themes relevant to young women survivors, from stage 0 to stage IV. Beautiful and ad-free! Visit wildfirecommunity.org for more info.
