Sex + Cancer: 5 Strategies to get you back in the sack
Last year, Jen wrote an article about sexuality and breast cancer. The following were her top 5 take-homes from the experts:
1. Take intercourse, or certain body parts, off the table
Don’t try to “force it” in areas that are painful or where there are lingering body image issues. Part of finding your new normal is the adventure of discovery. Things that used to feel good may not anymore, but it can be fun to find out what DOES feel good. Spend some intimate time with your partner exploring – the mouth, ears, neck, shoulders, back, knees and feet are erogenous zones that are particularly sensitive to being touched – especially when you have made a conscious choice to take off the pressure of intercourse.
2. Experiment with both spontaneous and scheduled intimate time
Try to be receptive to in-the-moment displays of affection, but also set aside specific times for exploration so that you can be prepared and even start to get excited with the anticipation of these encounters.
3. Watch an erotic movie
There are some empowering female directors out there making erotic films that can give you ideas for exploring intimacy. Still intimidated? Start by snuggling up a little closer with your lover the next time a sexy scene in a feature film turns you on.
4. Visit a sex store that takes a sex-positive approach to sexual pleasure, health, and education
Come As You Are and Good For Her are good examples in Toronto, but most cities have them. Go alone to discover what tickles your fancy, or bring your partner to open up some playful communication. Vibrators and lubricants can help with vaginal dryness, and many shops offer educational workshops.
5. Investigate the available services & programs in your city!
Kim Cullen developed and facilitates an online intervention for couples facing breast cancer, and Kim Sedgwick co-founded Red Tent Sisters with her sister Amy in Toronto, which offers workshops and coaching as well as a pretty amazing blog.